Veganism Rocks

because miss appifanie told me to..

2010-01-08T17:52:00.003+01:00

(I KNOW THE PICS AREN'T WORKING. I'LL FIX I LATER!)

okay, i am a terrible blogger. i might not even blog enough, to actually call myself a blogger at all. but hey, at least i ppk a lot!

and the food porning ain't doing so good either. since the last time i blogged, i've been cooking lotsa awesome stuff, but not taken any pictures, except in very very rare cases.

i did, however, go to Vienna, for a ppk meetup of epic proportions! i have a ton of pictures i need to upload, because that was one hell of an awesome trip.

in the past many months, i've been in therapy for my eating disorder, and it's resulted in my interest in cooking going down like crazy. but i still eat (duh!), mainly a bunch of smoothies, raw desserts, trail mix, raw milkshakes, salads, soups and sandwiches.. but i pinky promise i will be better at photographing it, and uploading it here! winter is upon us, and it's not exactly the most inspiring time, when it comes to healthy eating, so maybe i can inspire a few of you guys with some of my healthy eats.

anyway, enough about healthy eats, i'm going to post what i HAVE taken pictures of.. including two wedding cakes!

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2656/3955598464_4ffca90eb2.jpg[/img]
made this for a friend of a friend's wedding - it's a lemon cake, with lemon buttercream, and marzipan stars. it was really yummy!

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3453/3954819143_ee248c9437.jpg[/img]
mini cupcakes, for the same occasion.

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2432/3872026292_1d84766ae1.jpg[/img]
i made this cake for my friends birthday. it was amazing! it was a vanilla cake, with passion fruit buttercream (OMG!) and lemon buttercream, and tons of fresh blueberries. i think i had 4 pieces, and they were HUGE.

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3509/3872014478_fd9fd97de5.jpg[/img]
cupcakes, also for my friends birthday. they were the low fat deep chocolate bundt cake recipe from VCON, made into cupcakes, and decorated with chocolate mousse and peanutbuttercream.

and on to the food..

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3468/3881792114_683a06621c.jpg[/Img]
tofu egg salad! this stuff is pretty much my favourite, when i need something healthy, quick and protein-filled. it's my favourite plain tofu, cut in tiny cubes, and mixed with a bit of soy yogurt, black salt, salt, pepper and curry.

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2606/3880995275_2dca184916.jpg[/img]
super yummy chili sin carne. whenever i make chili, i make a HUGE portion, and freeze a bunch, for those lazy days. god, i have too many lazy days!

i think that was all for now.. i bet i have some more pics on the other computer, but they will have to wait.

hope you all are enjoying the snow! i know i am. just remember to dress for the cold, so you won't get sick!

happy now, miss appifanie?

/Ditte

Donations needed for the Iraqian asylum seekers here in Denmark

2009-08-14T17:58:00.005+02:00

hi everyone. stuff as been going down lately. check this out for more info: http://www.postpunkkitchen.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=102175

for those of you who want to donate, here you go!

i'll make sure that the money gets to the Kirkeasyl (church asylum) group, who are in close contact with the asylum seekers, and they will know what is the best use of the money.

thank you all so much!

Tuna burger recipe

2009-04-23T12:15:00.004+02:00

a few weeks ago i had an amazing dinner. i had just gotten my hands on a bag of Vital Wheat Gluten, which is really hard to get here. i looked around on the internet a bit, and fell over vegandad's blogpost about italian meatballs. with tempeh and VWG, it seemed like the perfect sidedish, next to my gnocchi with cherry tomato sauce. and they turned out good. real good. but even better; the texture reminded me a lot of something my mom used to make; tuna meatballs. i decided that i would try to replicate them the next day, with some seaweed for fishy taste. so i did, and they turned out wonderful!
i promised the ppk that i would post this recipe weeks ago. well, that never really happened, until now. i am just happy that i haven't lost the recipe, with the crazy amounts of cleaning i've done since then. but i didn't, and here's the recipe, highly inspired by vegandad's italian meatballs.

here it is, the tuna burger, served with rice noodles, red kimchee salad, ginger carrots and lemon-y mango chutney.

and here's the recipe for Vegan Tuna Burgers:

250 g. tempeh, steamed for 10 minutes, then shredded
1/8 cup roasted sesame seeds
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/3 cup vital wheat gluten
1 onion, finely chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped (optional)
5-6 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tsp arame seaweed, crushed
1-2 sheets nori, crushed
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp salt
wet ingredients:
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp sushi seasoning (you can sub some vinegar and sugar)
1 tbsp lemon or lime juice

oil for frying.

in a big bowl; mix grated tempeh with sesame seeds, nutritional yeast, vital wheat gluten, onion, celery, garlic, arame, nori and spices.
add in soy sauce, sushi seasoning and lemon juice, and mix with a fork until combined, then use your hands to knead a bit.
shape into burgers or meatballs or what you feel like, and fry at medium heat for at least 10 minutes - the burgers should be hot all of the way through.

i recommend that you try serving them with spring onions, cilantro and limejuice, but i am sure you guys can find tons of ways to use these babies.

let me know what you think, or if you improve the recipe or whatever.

/Ditte

i have tons of stuff to update and no time to do it!

2009-04-12T19:56:00.002+02:00

i have so much stuff to blog about - we've been having spring break here, and the boy und ich have had so much fun. some of it including vegan food (okay, most of it including vegan food), and i have even taken a ton of pictures. somehow, flickr won't work with me, but as soon as i get it to upload my pictures so i can porn my foods on the ppk, and i have time, i will update.

expect;
-malmö interior design stores and eateries.
-a recipe for a vegan tuna burger made from tempeh! yumz
-me rambling about birthday plans (i turn 20 on the 19th!)
and possibly other nice stuff aswell.

until then, i will encourage you to go visit the urban housewife for her post about copenhagen and malmö (and the lovely berlin!), and where's the revolution for her post about the very same cities!

much love to you all, and i hope you spend as much time out in the sun as possible! if not, then you should.

/Ditte

Spring food - yes, SPRING! and me just rambling.

2009-03-29T21:16:00.005+02:00

the sun have peeked out every single day this weekend, and i say it's officially spring. no more snow, no more rain, no more grey weather - i want sun, amazing amazing sun.
this have been a good weekend - friday was spend with a friend, going out for coffee, smoothies and soup. friday night was spend cooking dinner for some swedish friends (tofu scramble with spinach, corn, broccoli and black beans, and a mixed salad - my friend made roasted potatoes and broccoli soup), and eating the food. it was nice to see them all again, well, the ones i've met before, and this lovely dude called Calle brought me blueberry soy yoghurt, some soy cream cheese and this amazing hummus, that my boyfriend loves, and that can be kept at room temp - a good thing to keep around for food emergencies!
later that night, we went to a friends party, it was a lot of fun, ran into some people i haven't seen for a while, met some new ones, and all in all it was a nice friday.
saturday was lazy and hungover, but i managed to go for a loooong walk with my friend, into the centre of the city, where talked, looked through the windows of the closed stores, and i bought a big bunch of white tulips, to celebrate the spring.
we went out for coffee aswell, and spend a good 5 hours wandering around. haven't done that for a while, but this made me remember how much i like just walking around, talking and looking at stuff.
saturday night was spend with the awesome boyfriend, watching "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" - i liked the movie a lot, and it made us talk about dreams of moving around the world, and dreams in general. it was a pretty damn great evening.
today, we got up late, cleaned the entire apartment, did a shit ton of laundry, and had a lazy-yet-fabulous dinner. i can't be the only one out there who have a few things i like to cook when i am lazy, yet want damn good food, right? i am sure i am not. this was something new, but it is definitely a keeper.
this is what we had:

it's rice noodles, sesame nuggets, gingery carrots and broccoli and the fab Isa's corn and edamame salad.
it was yum. no, it was really really yum. it took about 20 minutes to make all and all, and i am slow today. so yay for quick, delicious and healthy food! you really should make the corn/edamame salad - you can watch Isa making it [url=http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/41825752.html]here[/url].
do it do it do it do it. you know you want to!

so that was all the food for today, but i have one more thing i'd like to share with you: http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html - it's a real time sucker! but a very very funny one.

I'm baaaack!

2009-03-23T01:02:00.004+01:00

okay, so i know that i am a terrible blogger. stop making me feel so guilty! uhm, yeah..

so what have I been up to? well.. i've been having ppk'ers over for a Copenhagen meetup, the lovely jojo,melisser and her man-in-crime, ryan. the weather sucked, but we made the best of it, by wandering around the city, eating waaay too much sugar and croissants, other stuff. i'll leave it up to melisser to make the awesome blog post about it, because i was too busy having fun to take pictures for y'all.

i can't exactly say that i have been cooking tons of tasty vegan food, winterdepression took over my head, and i've been dead lazy and sick and tired of cooking, but the sun peeped out this week, and suddenly i have energy, so i predict a comeback!

if there is any sun tomorrow, i'll hopefully have time to blog about the sushi i am making for lunch tomorrow (you know, natural lightening in pics, or just don't bother), but no matter what i promist i will try to be a better blogger! that way, i can show off my awesome new dishes, and have an excuse to buy more. i always need excuses to buy more dishes.

i'll end this post by posting a single food porn of my latest obsession; raw brownies.

recipe - make them!

pictures make me happy

2008-11-24T22:48:00.003+01:00

i want to share with you; La Porte Rouge - a photoblog that i enjoy a lot!

Berlin and Malmö PPK meetups. No pics cause i am lazy today.

2008-11-23T23:22:00.003+01:00

Most of you probably know that i am active on the ppk, a vegan message board located at http://www.theppk.com - i guess i might be a bit addicted. there are a lot of really cool people at the ppk (a lot of them have really amazing blogs aswell!).

there are a lot of meetups going on with ppkers, but since most people on the board are from the states, i have never had the possibility to go to one, until the great Bazu of the Where's the Revolution-blog and Mihl of the Seitan is my Motor-blog decided to do a meetup in Berlin. and then i was sold.
so i went to Berlin to meet up with a bunch of people, and share a room at the very cheap and nice Hotel Die Fabrik located in Kreutzberg. i shared a room with Jojo, Bazu and Daiku, and we met up with Mihl and Veg_eric for a day of eating nice vegan stuff.

this trip was awesome! everyone was nicer than i thought possible with a bunch of internet strangers. we had a so much fun, and everyone seemed to really get along. i am hoping to be able to hang out with all of these awesome people again sometime.

Bazu went back to Copenhagen to me, but got sick, so she spend the first day on my couch, sleeping. she joined me at work, cooking awesome vegan food for the people, and then we decided to go to Malmö the next day. and since she is a genius, she decided that we should invite Emmie from the Vegbitch-blog and her fiance Lokar from the ppk. so we met up with them on the Malmö Central station, and walked around the city a bit. we visited Atrid och aporna, that i mentioned in my last post, and Vegegården, also mentioned in my last post. it was awesome, and it started to snow (to be honest, it was very cold and i got wet feet, but it looked cool!), and we had and amazing Mocha Soy Latte and chocolate truffles, and talked about stuff and enjoyed the day.

pics will be up as soon as i am not too lazy to post them, but if you are excited and can't wait to see them, i posted the Berlin photos here and the Malmö pics here.

On a whole other note, i have been eating waaaay too much sugar and generally unhealthy stuff in the past weeks, and am proud to announce that i have not been eating refined sugar all day. and i did a yoga routine this evening. i am seriously considering to get some running equipment (ie. winter running clothes and running shoes), and start running again. i have been a lazy slack-off in the past couple of months, and i want to be healthy again. i am going to need my energy to survive the winter! thank god i am still biking every once in a while, and like to walk around, or i'd be sleeping all of the time from a lack of energy. wish me luck!

until i post again
xoxo

I'm going to Berlin!

2008-10-18T13:40:00.003+02:00

yes, that's right! i am going to Berlin to meet up with a bunch of lovely ppk'ers!, including Bazu from Where's the Revolution! i think we're gonna have so much fun! i haven't been to Berlin since i was a child, and i have heard so many good things about the city, so i am excited to go and explore. we are going to hang out at vegan restaurants eating bunches of great food, and i am planning on going shopping for vegan foodstuffs you can't get here, and clothes. so, yeah, it will be pretty amazing.
also, Melisser of The Urban Housewife called in a favor, and is fixing us up with vegan cupcakes. thanks, melisser!
After hanging out it Berlin for a couple of days or 4, Bazu is coming back to Copenhagen to stay at my place, and check out the city. we are probably going to Malmö aswell, to eat at Vegegården, an everything-is-deep-fried chinese restaurant, and Astrid och Aporna (astrid and the monkeys), a vegetarian supermarket with loads of vegan stuff.
all of this is going down in late november. i can't wait!

/D

VeganMoFo - danish food.

2008-10-17T00:26:00.004+02:00

I cooked something 100% danish today. i rarely do that. it's called "stuvet spinat", which can be translated into spinach gravy, served over mashed potatoes and some brussels sprouts and black beans. it was delish! and i can proudly say that today i got my greens!

and i found this really nice bottle of white truffle oil today. i love white truffle oil! i will have to cook something with it when the boy isn't home, though, he can't stand the smell of it. i guess it's my own fault, for trying to feed him somthing with truffle oil, while he was really sick, some time ago. poor boy.

on another note, i had my mom and sister over for a visit today. i rarely see my family, partially cause they live far away and i am lazy, partially because i have so much stuff going on in my life at the moment, that just leaving the city for a day, isn't really going to happen. when i have a whole day off, i usually opt. to sit in my pj's all day, eating icecream and watching movies, enjoying my own company.
so i am a bad daughter. but who cares?
it was really nice seeing them. i always like to hang out with my sister, because 13 year old girls are awesome, and i am in a very superficial state of mind at the moment, so we have a lot in common. + you know, i wouldn't want to miss out on following her while she is growing up. i had her up for a visit in the summer, where she just stayed at my place, and we had fun shopping, eating shitloads of berries, and watching mary-kate and ashley movies. the movies is really what should earn me the best sister of the year-award, cause damn, i could have spend those 1,5 hours on something a little more interesting than watching a movie about the twins traveling around the world because they need to be undercover, and ending up in Australia, where they meet the cute surf guys. but she had fun, i enjoyed her having fun and all was good.
and i always enjoy my mom's company. she is a really great mom, and i love her so much. she always have advise for all of my crazy problems, and she cares so much about me. it is really great, just spending a day drinking coffee and talking with her. we just places my sister on the couch with SATC the Movie, and a fashion magazine, and then she entertained herself for a couple of hours.
what i really enjoy about my mom's company is that i can feel her growing as a person all the time. she is not one of those moms who are always the same. she always looks for new things to try, and is interested in my point of view. but at the same time, she maintain this calmness about everything. and she is intelligent. i guess i can just hope for them all to see the light, and move closer to copenhagen. i would really enjoy being able to go and hang out at my mom's place, or just dropping by for a cup of coffee. but i guess that it won't happen any time soon. i can still dream about it, right?

after having my mom and sister over, A came home, bringing some of our stuff from the storage room, including tons of clothes. i am so happy to have my clothes back! i had forgotten how much fabulous stuff i have. tomorrow will be the first day i can choose whatever outfit i want, since the 1st of august. i am probably gonna spend 2 hours just dressing up in my own clothes, deciding what to wear. it is gonna be amazing.

i think i will go outside and grab a smoke, and then take a shower and head off to bed. it's already 12:48am.
much love,
D.

I want to share with you..

2008-10-15T22:39:00.005+02:00

My favourite online interior design sites:

The Selby

Design*sponge

Apartment Therapy

i think you will love these as much as I do!

and one of these days i will post about our apartment project. it is not completely done, but hopefully it will be before christmas!

VeganMoFo - Pasta Della California

2008-10-15T21:42:00.004+02:00

I've been planning my menues for this week, cause we've gotten into this bad habit of buying random veggies that end up back in the fridge, only to be found 3 weeks later, half rotten. and we haven't really been buying veggies for a while, except from when i got into a sudden "I WANT TO COOK RIGHT NOW, LET'S GO TO THE GREENGROCER NOW NOW NOW" crazy-state. to be honest, i've been really lazy about food for some time, but decided that this has to end. no more take away food. no more bread with vegan cream cheese or jam. no more pasta with esme's Special Sauce.

this was my planned menu:
monday: Fingerling Potatoes braised with Smoked Paprika, marinated vegetarian tuna and a warm salad made from asparagus, green beans and carrots.
tueday: noodles with sesame seeds, asparagus and tofu.
wednesday: probably eating at Wagamama (japanese restaurant)
thursday: potato/spinach/chickpea curry and rice
friday: Pasta Della California
saturday: mac'n'cheese with tomato salad and green bean salad with salted almonds
sunday: leftovers!

but since we decided to go to wagamama friday or saturday instead, i decided to make the Pasta Della California today. and i am so glad i did!
damn, this dish is so easy, yet tasty. it is pretty high fat, but what the hell. i used whole wheat spaghetti instead of linguine, because i am cutting down on the regular pasta. i will definitely be making this dish again. and if you haven't made it yet, do so!

VeganMoFo - Vitaminas is the new black.

2008-10-15T19:57:00.004+02:00

sometimes i sugar crash. hard. even though i try my best to eat foods that stabilize my blood sugar, and even though i stay away from regular sugar (well, most of the time!). i eat a big breakfast every day, eat a high fiber diet, eat healthy all over really. the sugar crash usually comes after spending a couple of hours wandering around stores in the centre of the city. it sucks! i think my body lets out a ton of adrenalin, while i look at amazing stuff, and then i just feel bad when i get home. i want to keep the excitement going! or at least feel okay.

i think i have finally found a solution. Vitaminas.
What is a Vitamina, you ask? It's a Latin American version of the smoothie, only more filling! it only takes a couple of minutes (especially if you own a magic bullet, or a knockoff, like i do).

this is what you need to make your very own Vitamina:

1/4 cup of oat flour, made by grinding up some regular oats in the blender, then putting them in a cup.
2/3 of a banana
3/4 cup of frozen strawberries
1/4 cup of frozen blackberries
some applejuice
some soymilk
some soy yoghurt (optional)

blend up everything, except the oat flour, in the blender. it should be like a thin smoothie. add in the oat flour and blend until it is nice and smooth.
you can definitely taste the oats, but i think it's a yummy addition!

i am sure you can do this with your favourite smoothie recipe aswell. if you like it sweet, i would recommend that you leave out the soy yoghurt, and maybe add a little agave. just don't leave out the milk and the oats! that's what makes it so filling. i also wouldn't leave out the banana, or at least replace it with some avocado or something equally filling. anyway, just make one, okay? i bet you're gonna love it.

VeganMoFo - Veggies Rock!

2008-10-15T12:26:00.003+02:00

i love vegetables! that's all i really wanted to say.

rice noodles with stir fried tofu, mushrooms, asparagus and raw spring onions, steamed carrot and green beans and a salad made from lettuce, cherry tomatoes, avocado and olives.

VeganMoFo - today I cooked just for me!

2008-10-14T17:43:00.006+02:00

it rarely happens that i cook just for me. usually i cook for the boy and me, or have friends over for dinner. or i have dinnerparties. or i cook at work. it's like, when you cook for a living, you just don't bother cooking for yourself.
but it is a shame, actually. it feels really great to put a little (or a lot) energy into cooking a meal, just for your own joy.

i've had a really bad week. actually the past two weeks have been really crappy, for reasons i won't bore you with. and today was not better. so when i got home, and just wanted to cuddle up on the sofa, with a blanket and Gossip Girl, i decided that i wanted to cook. just for me. just because i like cooking.

and i did it. let me present to you: my lunch!

Polenta with Cherry Tomato sauce, Artichoke puree and a Salad

Yum! you should do this sometime. spoil yourself a little. you deserve it.

/D

VeganMoFo - the tale of the vegetarian tuna

2008-10-14T10:30:00.005+02:00

you know when you are in a store far from where you live, and you see a product that is so wierd that you HAVE to buy at least three of them, without tasting? i do this all the time. usually it goes pretty well, but sometimes it goes terribly wrong.
like when we were in sweden, and went to this amazing store called Astid och Aporna, which is a health food store with all sorts of amazing and weird things, loads of vegan candy, loads of soy stuff, fake meats, including vegan crab meat, lobster, chicken, beef and tuna! and since the boy have been talking about how he misses tuna sometimes, i thought "let's buy a load of these!". so we grabbed three huge "tunasteaks", looking like this:

i should have KNOWN. i should have just bought one, and then bought some of the fake chicken that we ate at a restaurant 30 mins earlier that i actually LIKED. i should not have spend $30 on three fake tuna steaks. i never liked tuna! what was i thinking?
so we went back to the house we were staying in, and i decided to fry it up to use on a piece of bread. it wasn't exactly good. but it was edible! i just had a single piece of bread witht he fake tuna, and left the rest to the boy.

then yesterday i decided that i wanted to give it another try. so i marinated it in a vegetarian stir fry sauce with a bit of lime in it (the marinade was delicious, btw), added the tuna, let it sit on the countertop for a while, and then i fried it up. it was the most vile thing i've ever had. it was horrible. i couldn't even eat a tiny piece. the taste of the fake tuna overwhelmed the marinade, and it was literally pukeworthy. i had a very hard time keeping the tiny piece i had eaten, inside of me.

i hate this product. it is the worst thing i've ever had.
and the really wierd part? on the package it says vegetarian tuna with big letters, and then it says in german "veg. lambsmeat".
i gave the last package to a friend, but warned her about it being really bad. i just couldn't let it sit in the fridge next to my delicious organic veggies, and the vegan cream cheese that actually deserves my love and attention.

on a more positive note, fatfreevegan's Fingerlin Potatoes braised with Smoked Paprika is delicious!

/D

Vestine's story

2008-10-13T18:42:00.001+02:00

this is so horrible. i can't even begin to describe it. please read this. awareness is the first step in changing the world.

Vestine's story.

autumn isn't all that bad

2008-10-13T10:37:00.008+02:00

i feel bad for dissing on autumn in my last post. i like autumn. it is pretty and nice and brings apples and pears and plums, and i drink way more tea than in the summer. those are all good things! so i thought i would let this post be mostly about the pics. this sums up my autumn: up till now:

i think that was it for today. it's a little bit about food. guess you'll have to do with that for today!

/D

fuck you, autumn-weather

2008-10-12T12:31:00.002+02:00

hey peeps.
i'm still sick, and i blame the autumn. this would have never happened in the summer. i actually lost my voice completely, and have been spending the past few days in my pj's, not leaving the apartment. at. all. fuck you autumn. i actually really like you, and then you do this to me! i thought you would be nice and cozy, and pretty. not make me sick! i've even been wearing warm boots and my winter jacket!

this of course means that i haven't exactly been into cooking. actually, quite the opposite. i have been living off fruit, soy yoghurt, crackers and soup. luckily, my boyfriend can manage to cook up a soup once in a while, so it hasn't all been crappy pre-packaged foods.
two days ago, one of my friends dropped by with a bunch of organic veggies; two huge artichokes, a white pumpkin and something else (i don't remember what it was and i am too lazy to leave to couch to check), so yesterdaythe boy steamed the artichokes and made a pumpkin soupl. unfortunately i didn't feel like eating the soup at all, but i had artichokes!
this morning he made me a big fruit salad, and has just finished a bowl of oatmeal. not bad at all. and while i feel sorry for myself and get spoiled by the boyfriend, i hope to be feeling better by tomorrow.

so no VeganMoFo today. probably not in the next couple of days either.. i will just relax and not stress too much about anything.

/Ditte

p.s. if you ever get a wierd craving for a movie called "Twitches".. don't give into it. it is so bad.

You know who i love? Blair Waldorf!

2008-10-05T21:58:00.006+02:00

I am a big fan of the TV show Gossip Girl. i love it. usually i don't get very drawn into stuff like TV shows, but Gossip Girl hits the spot, right in that big empty hole that Sex and The City left.
What i needed was a storyline that kept my interest, gorgeous people and last, but certainly not least; fabulous clothes.

It is no secret that since i've started watching this show, i have used Blair as an inspiration, when it comes to my look. i love her ladylike, yet chic and fashionable look. but while Blair is the owner of a limitless credit card, i am not!
that's why i have picked out a couple of favourites that i want, or want to find vegan versions of:

This Topshop dress looks great, and has a really nice color. I need to find a version that isn't made from silk, though.

This is another Topshop dress. I am usually not into big bows, but this dress is simple enough for it to work. again, i want to find something similar, that is not silk.

Yet another Topshop winner. can you tell that i am a fan? what i love about this dress is that it is simple, yet still looks amazingly chic.

I would love to pair all three dresses with these leggins. they are simple enough to wear any day, yet gives any outfit an edge.

if you like Blair as much as i do, you should check out Chic and Charming's feature on Blair; http://www.chicandcharming.com/2007/11/chic-women-blair-waldorf.html & The Glam Guide's feature on Gossip Girl; http://getglamorous.blogspot.com/search/label/Gossip%20Girl . they are both very inspiring.

<3 Ditte

ps. because i am still sick, there will be no VeganMoFo post today. sorry folks!

VeganMoFo - about sushi

2008-10-04T23:09:00.002+02:00

sushi is amazing. if you don't like sushi, you are crazy to me. it's that good.
i've had my fair share of sushi. i like buying it, making it, looking at it, and most of all eating it.
it can be a super fast lunch, a healthy fast food choice, a dinner extraordinare and even a project amongst friends!

i have had weeks where sushi has been my main food source. i love it.

so imagine how thrilled i was, finding out that a new sushi restaurant had it's grand opening yesterday. not just a regular sushi restaurant, but one with a vegan menu! i went there last night, but they were fully booked with orders. so today, while feeling a bit sick, i asked my boyfriend to call in an order. this is what we got:

umeboshi with fresh mint roll
go vegan roll: mango, umeboshi, enoki, cucumber
shiitake roll: teriyaki marinated shiitake, carrot, salad, avocado and sesame
tofu n nuts roll: smoked tofu, marinated shiso, cashews, avocado, cucumber
gobo roll: yamagobo, avocado, macademia, cucumber and sesame
crispy radish roll; tempura radishes, cucumber, macadamia and avocado
+ some edamame, chili mayo and seaweed salad.

damn, it was GOOD. we got most of them with brown rice, and it was surprisingly delicious. iøve never had brown rice sushi before, but i was pleased. it is definitely not the same as with white rice, but it was good.
the place we got it from is called Sushi by Us and is located at; Nørrebrogade 153, 2200 KBH N. drop by if you're ever in the city. sushi aint cheap in Denmark, but it is worth it!

this was a quick lunch, made from leftover sushi rice and delicious filling, made sometime last summer:

now, go make eat some sushi!

VeganMoFo - i know i'm late!

2008-10-04T17:49:00.005+02:00

I am always late. no matter what i do i am late. VeganMoFo is no exception.

If you have no idea what i am rambling about, check out Isa's post about it; http://theppk.com/blog/2008/09/16/veganmofo-is-upon-us/#more-520
there is no need to add more.

so now that we are clear on what VeganMoFo is, i want to tell you why i am late. because i am so damn busy! i have been working hard, and things are crazy busy. but i am here now. don't you worry.

i have been a bit boring about food lately. it must be the stress from living on the couch with a huge pile of boxes with stuff that have no place to go. and the fact that we don't have an oven, but anyway, this lazyness and boredom makes me not cook as much as usual. which can be a bit of a problem, when teaching people about cooking is what i do for a living.
but last thursday i had the greatest day at work, cooking a nice curry with cauliflower, potato, onions, garlic, kale, coconutmilk and a home blended curry. served over basmati rice, with a nice homemade chapati, and homemade apple chutney + a dollop of soy yoghurt, and people were raving. there were so many people coming to eat, that some of them had to stand up while eating. the soupkitchen project is amazing, and we're having so much fun. and some of the girls who were helping, made an apple pie, that was really good.
unfortunately, the dishwasher broke, and we had to do a ton of dishes by hand, but people had lots of fun anyway, and it was a great night.

food is awesome, cause it brings people together, and makes them talk. i really like that.

i have no idea what the point of this story is, exept being a story. but i like it anyway. maybe it is mainly being posted for my own rememberence. i don't know. i am sick and have had nothing but oatmeal, sandwiches with soy cream cheese and soy yoghurt today. i get wierd when i have nothing but breakfast foods. i guess i just wanted you all to know that i haven't forgotten you or VeganMoFo.

oh, and i am excited to read your posts throughout the month! happy VeganMoFo!

maria mena

2008-06-01T00:53:00.003+02:00

she is all kinds of awesome. i fell in love with her music one day, watching a music programme, where she played "just a little bit" - just her and her guitar. she has been struggling with an ED for a long time, and i feel like i can relate to her lyrics on so many levels.
and it's easy listening, but good! definitely a good choice for chillout days and biking around the city. i listen to it when i feel really depressed or eating disordered, and it makes me feel like i can get myself out of the big black hole.

i want to share a song, it's called "this bottle of wine"

and this one's called "our battles"

so.. can you guess i've had a hard weekend? yesterday was fucked up, i went into this horrible argument with my boyfriend, treated him like shit, yelled at him, cried, did a bunch of laxatives, cried some more while starring at the bottle, scratched my underarm with my nails to get the pain to dissapear. i told him i didn't want to be with him anymore, that i didn't love him, that i wanted out and to get away. i knew it wasn't true, i just couldn't stop myself. i felt like i just had to get away from him, to make his life better. i made him cry. i made him cry and i felt so bad, and told him that it wasn't true, that i love him, that i want to be with him, but i just don't know how, that i know i'm hurting him by hurting myself, that i am a bad person to be with. he told me that he loves me and wants to be with me no matter what. that we're buying an apartment together cause we are gonna be together forever.
i feel like the worst person in the world, the worst girlfriend in the world, but it's gonna be okay. i need to stop getting mad at him, when i can't keep my feelings inside anymore. i need to start acting on my feeling when i feel them, not hide them away and ignore them.
i have a feeling that this is gonna be a though year. but at least we've got each other. even when he's gonna be away for 6 months, he's still gonna be only few hours away, and we will see each other every weekend. it's gonna be hard as hell, and i am gonna feel alone and not be able to control my eating, but somehow i think it's better to get to try, and not be 100% addicted to him. i mean, i can always call him and ask him to come home. right? they can't force you to stay there, right? i am so scared.

in search of the perfect kitchen

2008-05-29T11:25:00.002+02:00

this is hard. really really hard. what do we want? do we even want the same? what shape should it be? colors? materials?
in the search of the perfect kitchen, i've found some blogs and books that are definitely worth looking at, if you're designing a kitchen for your place.

the kitchen designer
design hole online
dwell's kitchen blog
kitchen design notes
pardon our dust

i hope you feel as inspired as me! and i'll let you know when we settle on a design, of course!

carrie´s apartment

2008-05-28T10:41:00.006+02:00

so, we've been moving around quite a bit - and since i love decorating new places, i usually have a lot of fun. the internet is a great source, so is interior design magazines and my terence conran books.
i am a big fan of sites like design*sponge & apartment therapy.
but somehow i always end up on the tour of carrie's apartment. i don't know what it is exactly - i'm not a big fan of dark wooden furniture or long curtains or carpets. but i just really like the perfect balance of masculinity and femininity, the way the apartment looks "lived in". i am european by all means when it comes to interior design, but still.. there's something magical about carrie's place.
i don't know exactly what the magic is, but i'm trying to figure out, so i can bring a little of it to our new apartment. it is now we have all of the possibilities, since we're building the inside from scratch - the waterpipes, the electricity, the floors, the walls, the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, livingroom - so this time we're gonna go all of the way, and make it OUR place - cause it's gonna be exactly that. there is definitely something calming about not having to worry about having to move again for a lot of years - we can live there forever if we want.
so right now our current place is filled with interior design magazines, kitchen catalogs, books, pictures, drawings - and even though it can be stressfull, it's a hell of a lot of fun!

Banana-Ginger Bread Muffins

2008-05-26T22:50:00.003+02:00

this recipe is delicious. it's my version of this recipe by Isa Chandra Moskowitz.
i've halved the recipe, changed some of the ingredients, but stayed true to the most important things, to make sure I keep the delicious texture.

1/2 cups white sugar
1/4 cup canola oil
1 1/2 overripe banana
1 cup flour
1/3 tsp baking soda
2-3 tbs soymilk
a splash of apple cider vinegar (about a teaspoon)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon gingerpowder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt

preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

mix flour, baking soda and spices in a medium bowl.
in a big bowl, mash the bananas. add oil, sugar, soymilk and vinegar.
sift the flourmixture into the wet stuff, and mix it until it looks pretty well mixed. it will have lumps of banana, but don't worry, it's delicious!
if you want to add in some nuts or dried fruits or chocolate, this is the time to do it.
you can change the spices, for other delicious banana breads.

spoon the dough into muffin liners, fill it about 2/3.
bake for 20-25 mins. when done, take out and let cool.

if you want them to be extra yummy and sweet, give then some chocolate ganache or some ginger glaze, for that delicious sugar high.

let me know what you think about it!

we just bought a condo!

2008-05-21T00:56:00.003+02:00

woohoo! it's amazing. the place is pretty small and trashy, so every waken moment in the next three months will be dedicated to making this place cool.
you guys know what this means? -NEW KITCHEN. new kitchen. new kitchen! we've been out looking at kitchens, comparing prices, designs, measuring, calculating, designing, and we're going out again tomorrow. it's pretty hard, bit really exciting.
so basically what we're doing with the place;
ripping off old floors. putting all sorts of installations in the floor. ripping out the old toilet. putting on new wooden floors. building new bathroom, with plenty of room and great looking tiles. building new kitchen. building new bedroom. making the floors in the livingroom look nice. paint paint paint.

this is gonna be awesome. i promise to post pics as soon as we get the key. the last paperwork is being done now, so it will be any day now.

on a whole other note; the boy is going away for six months. to live on a whole other island. six months. away. he's gonna be a fireman and oil cleaner as his military service (at least you get the option of doing something pacifistic).
did i mention; SIX MONTHS!? i hate it, but we just gotta make it work. at least i have a new apartment that will need to be lived in, so i am probably gonna have lots of dinner parties, lots of sleep overs, lots of friends just coming to hang out in my cool new kitchen. but day-um i am gonna miss his cute smile! he's hopefully gonna come home almost every weekend, but there will be some hard days for sure. we've been living together for almost three years. he's leaving in the start of august. at least i will have a lot more time to blog, post food porn, make delicious food and post recipes.

i better get going now, my friend is hanging out on the couch, reading, and i really shoud be a better friend. hopefully i'll get more into this blogging thing soon.

reason no. 12893054 that i love my boyfriend

2008-04-06T18:42:00.004+02:00

when i woke up, i was alone. i thought it was kind of wierd, since it's sunday and all, but since we live kind of in the middle of everything, it wasn't all that strange.
i just sat around in a tanktop and my undies, and ate some soy yoghurt with banana pieces in it and enjoyed life, when the doorbell rang. i foolishly assumed that it was my boyfriend returning, but no, it was some young dude collecting money for some sort of charity. i just got so baffled that i hadn't checked before i opened the door, that i just looked a bit wierd, and gave him some cash.
poor guy. early sunday, me looking like crap in almost no clothes, and just starring at him like he was a ghost. haha.

later on my boyfriend returned from his trip, and i was totally happy to see him.
i got even more happy when he said "i've got something for you!" and gave me this:

how awesome is this? and two weeks before my birthday. i'm gonna spend a lot of time on making the perfect cake in it, so i can make castle cake for my birthday.

i also got some delicious fresh raw almonds, from the boy's parents:

the boyfriend is having company over for a movie, and i'm cooking, cause that's definitely my favourite way of spending sundays.

i haven't smoked in two days (yesterday i was so hungover that i couldn't get out of bed, today i just decided that i need to not smoke, if it's possible). the Kate Nash concert was pretty awesome, and afterwards we went to this electronica/house/whatever place called basement, and it was pretty cool. i just remember a basement with a lot of smoke and dancing. god i was drunk.

Fuck For Forest

2008-04-03T00:33:00.002+02:00

just to clarify; i am against the porn industry, as it works now. i have nothing against porn movies, i have something against the sexualisation of women, the degration of sexuality as something you can buy if you have enough money, the standards of how the women in these films have to look. you know what? most of us aren't blondes, with huge tits, flatbellys and tight skin everywhere. and most of us actually like to have some kind of control over how to have sex. you know, we have our favourite positions aswell. we also don't get turned on by people calling us bitch, and we don't feel like repeating how big your cock is ten times. some people ARE blonde, skinny, like to be controlled, and like to be called bitch, but my bet is that it's one in a thousand or so.
to me, the porn industry stands for something that is traded for money. and with that exchange, something happens; the people with the money is the people in control. when you're broke, hungry, can't get a job, then it's the easy way out. except, for a lot of people it's really not.
i have full respect for anyone who is doing porn and likes it, but i really don't think that it in any way cancels out how many people get wierd about their own sexuality after being in the porn industry. this is something that makes me angry at the porn industry; i want all of the people involved to be happy! but when it's about cool cash, something happens to people, they get selfish and stop caring.
that is not okay.
ok, i could rant about this forever and ever, and if you're interested in reading more on the subject, i suggest you use google or another search engine. tons of stuff has been written about this, some of it is bullshit, a lot of it is really cool and intelligent.

but back to the subject; i just discovered this awesome project. it's called Fuck For Forest. it's a non profit website, based on activism. it's cool, cause the website has two main issues they adress; sexuality and environmental concerns. it's; take back your sexuality and save the earth. i like that.
if you want to read more about the project, go to what the flower is Fuck For Forest?

now that's what i'm talking about! people having sex, cause they enjoy it, and then videotape it. i don't mind that at all. i don't care what other people do, as long as they are okay with it themselves, and harm no one. i think sex is an awesome thing, i just get so mad when i see an industry exploring people's sexuality, and make it something bad. sex is not bad, it's good! but for sex to be good, it has to be for your own pleasure, and it's usually not the case, when money is involved.

so anyone up for it; go support this website if you're into making porn, or watching porn, and boycut the mainstream porn industry.
let everyone know that you don't think it's cool, when people get explored because of their social or economical situations, gender, color, race, nationality, personality or whatever.
let everyone know why the porn industry sucks.
free your sexuality, and give other people the possibility to free theirs.
and save the forests!

i want to be evil

2008-04-02T22:42:00.002+02:00

this is awesome.

"and in the theatre i want to change seets, just so i can step on everybody's feet!"
it makes me happy.
i hope it makes you happy aswell!

"this is what a feminist looks like".

2008-04-02T21:08:00.002+02:00

for more feminist news, go to feministing.

exciting news!

2008-04-02T20:02:00.008+02:00

i just got a job! well, actually i got the job ten days ago, but i am lazy, and bad at updating my blog.
i'm gonna cook at a vegetarian 80% organic restaurant! it's pretty awesome, and i feel pretty fucking great about it.
i've been there three times, in practice, and needs a couple of more practice days, but sometime next week, i will be there alone.
it's so cool!
and just as fucking awesome is this:
apparantly we're getting a new ungdomshus.
i really really want this to work out, but i also really don't trust the politicians. as one of my friends said; "i believe this, when i'm drinking my first beer there". i think that's a clever approach.
on a totally different note, my friend who is pregnant, is gonna give birth within the next week or so. i am really looking forward to meeting the baby! i can't believe the past nine months went this fast, it's crazy!
so much new, big, amazing stuff is going on right now, i can't even keep a track of it all.

i think the only proper way of celebrating all of this, is with some food porn:

sushi and seitan roulade with mustard sauce and potatoes. definitely celebration food! (actually, it's just lunch and dinner, but let's pretend i had a big dinner party, okay?).

i've spend today cleaning the kitchen, the bedroom and the dining room/office, and it feels great.
life is actually really fucking good right now.

i'm so handy!

2008-03-23T23:55:00.003+01:00

as a part of our decluttering project, we have decided to hang up some of the cool art stuff we have - pictures, drawings etc. i have 3 younger siblings, who craft all sorts of cool stuff for me on christmas and birthdays. and Amanda from the will draw for cookies blog sent me a couple of really cool fairy tale prints, from some of her drawings, in exchange for some rittersport peppermint chocolate. check out her amazing blog!
i found some matching frames in ikea this monday, so we found the right tools, and hung them up today. sometimes i love having a handy boyfriend. although, i was the one who did the hard work!

some useful links

2008-03-23T23:18:00.000+01:00

a fellow ppker from my forum, sent me this link, when i asked for good links about veganism and sustainability. i find the information there quite useful and thought i'd share. there are tons of links and interesting facts there.
thank you bazu!

i hope i'll be able to update some recipes soon.but since i'm such a messy person with my recipes, it might take some time. until then, here's my favourite chocolate chip cookie recipe.

decluttering my life

2008-03-21T21:17:00.001+01:00

since the boy and i moved into our new place on the 1st of january, we've been trying to make an effort not to live in a big pile of mess. it doesn't work completely, but the dishwasher helps quite a bit!it's a neverending project to live a minimalist life, and i might as well face it; i won't ever be the type of person who lives like that. i might be scandinavian all the way through, but i'm also a big fan of piles of gorgeous books, huge cozy sofas and chairs, old funiture that bears signs of a life before my apartment. i have a few pieces of furniture that i've had for years, and both of them are dressers, old and all that is left from when i lived with my mom. i threw away most of what i owned, when the boy and i moved in together; i was so much in love, and needed nothing but the company of the person i was in love with. i'm still very much in love, and though it was risky to throw away all of my possesions, it worked.but somehow, the problem is not exactly getting nice furniture, that's the problem. it's getting the room for the furniture. and even though we have a nice, big apartment, it's just not working out. we have too much crap, and too little storage room. i own several decorating books, and all of these perfectly furnished places leave me with only one question; where's all the clutter. we all have it. we all own stuff that we don't really need, but cant bear to part with. where do these decorating gods leave theirs? i don't get it. i want to have a nice place, but i don't want to part with my beloved crap.but i am gonna do it. i am gonna try to part with the stuff i REALLY don't need.i am gonna try to make this place work, by decluttering it, and making it easier to clean.i am gonna do my best to make this place a place that i am proud to live, make it reflect me and my taste.i am gonna spend the time (and money) that it takes.i will let you join me on the journey, and byy doing this, hoping to inspire others to make their homes a place that reflects them.wish me good luck. i think i'm gonna need it.

2008-03-13T14:03:00.000+01:00

1. Favorite non-dairy milk? soymilk.
2. What are the top 3 dishes/recipes you are planning to cook?brown rice with kale and cilantro & vegetarble chili mole. banana bread muffins. cinnamon rolls.
3. Topping of choice for popcorn? salt.
4. Most disastrous recipe/meal failure? tofu bacon with sugar and thyme. it burned and tasted really really wierd.
5. Favorite pickled item? cucumber.
6. How do you organize your recipes? i don't. i am very unorganized. i try to organize them on the computer, though.
7. Compost, trash, or garbage disposal? trash. that's how it works here.
8. If you were stranded on an island and could only bring 3 foods...what would they be (don't worry about how you'll cook them)? sushi, melon and dhal.
9. Fondest food memory from your childhood? eating strawberries in the summer.
10. Favorite vegan ice cream? homemade.
11. Most loved kitchen appliance? my knife.
12. Spice/herb you would die without? all of them!
13. Cookbook you have owned for the longest time? easy vegan cooking and vegan feasts.
14. Favorite flavor of jam/jelly? blueberry.
15. Favorite vegan recipe to serve to an omni friend? anything.
16. Seitan, tofu, or tempeh? tofu.
17. Favorite meal to cook (or time of day to cook)? all of them. i like cooking anytime.
18. What is sitting on top of your refrigerator? a cupboard.
19. Name 3 items in your freezer without looking. organic frozen corn, three types of muffins, icecubes.
20. What's on your grocery list? nothing.
21. Favorite grocery store? Irma.
22. Name a recipe you'd love to veganize, but haven't yet? my moms sweet vanilla spinach cake!
23. Food blog you read the most (besides Isa's because I know you check it everyday). Or maybe the top 3? i really don't know. i just look around a bit, when i have time.
24. Favorite vegan candy/chocolate? white vegan chocolate.
25. Most extravagant food item purchased lately? haha. probably most of them. i guess truffle oil? or agave nectar (it's more than $12 here! for a small bottle)

2008-01-21T12:24:00.000+01:00

today i am feeling a bit tired and shitty, but not badly. i think i need to go to the movies, or maybe just watch a movie at home.
i really wanna show you guys some of the pictures of our new place, but i have some trouble figuring out how to.. iøll return later with pictures + more blogging!

2008-01-16T00:04:00.000+01:00

sorry for not posting anything in december. we've been really busy, moving to a new apartment (big and beautiful!), and spending christmas amongst family and friends. it's been a pretty busy christmas and new year, but in a really positive way!

i've also started therapy, and it seems to work out pretty great (meaning: i haven't had any desires to try and run away yet!), and i am feeling positive that this is the time that i stick to it.

but to much more important stuff:
i have a great, awesome, fantastic and fucking huge new kitchen, and it is the best place in the whole world. the past month have been all about making cookies, cupcakes, jam, delicious dinners and some pretty great experimenting. it has a dishwasher, and that's a pretty great thing to have, if you're like me and love to make a mess, but hate the cleaning involved. haha.
i will be sure to post pictures of both food porn, apartment porn, and whatever i feel like, as soon as we get a stable internet connection. right now we're using the boy's phone as a modem, which sucks cause:
1) he brings his phone to work
2) it pretty much hates me, and keeps logging off and acting like a crazy person
3) it is not the fastest internet in the world.. i want my 20 mbits!

i promise to try to be a better blogger!

elizabethtown

2007-11-28T00:56:00.000+01:00

i think it is my favourite movie. but i must confess i do have a thing for kirsten dunst. she is lovely.

making baby stuff

2007-11-26T00:07:00.000+01:00

i decided that i have too much stuff. i need to figure out what i actually need, and what i have cause i'm a collector of everything. and i have plenty of it.
so i went through my books, and found about 20 that i don't really like. and i went through my clothes and i had SO much that i know i will never wear again. so i thought to myself, that i should do something with it. a lot of it is not something that anyone will love, a lot of stuff i've redesigned or made smaller, and i don't think anyone would like to get it. but it's a shame, it's a whole lotta cotton. and i have a very good friend who is 5 months pregnant. this could easily be combined into something very very cool. like, baby clothes! and bibs! so this is my new project. i will make something tomorrow i think, and then i'll just try my way through it. thank the it-geeks for the internet.

also, we just watched the very last episode of "Alias". it is the coolest tv show ever, and i feel kind of sad that i am never gonna see sydney bristow do her thing again, and sad that sark is never gonna look hot and evil again, and sad that i am not gonna feel the rush of the whole show again. i will of course watch it over and over, but it is never the same.
at least it's been a while since i saw sex and the city the last time!

shopaholic, me? -no.

2007-11-23T17:39:00.000+01:00

jesus-motherfucking-christ. i have been shopping waaaaaay too much this month. it is bad. but at least i'm well dressed. oh, and because we're going to london, i just HAD to get myself a weekend-bag, black fake-leather, and very stylish and perfectly casual but still dressy. yes sir. oh, and a pair of j. lindeberg jeans. and a pair of nice green-and-white high-top shoes. and a pink babydoll dress. and a short grey cardigan. and another pair of jeans. and a new wintercoat. ( i still love my big purpleish winterjacket, and my black trenchcoat, and my black oversized organic cotton coat, but..). oh, and my friend offered to book an appointment with her hairdresser for me and her to go together, my hair needs a decent cut. and i should also dye it before we go, it is starting to show the brown..

we're going to london soon!

2007-11-20T23:56:00.000+01:00

i've been thinking about going somewhere in december. to get away from my everyday routine, and to experience something new and positive. i was thinking about going to france, i have some friends there, but we've already been in france twice the past year. and i can't really deal with foreign languages at the moment. i don't really have the patience to get lost or try to translate the word "vegan" to someone working at a french bistro. no thanks.
i want a place where i can communiate with people, where i don't get lost, where i can get vegan food; london!
so talked to the boy, he was interested, within the hour we had found a hotel and we're buying the plane tickets tomorrow.
i am exited! i like london! london is pretty, it has plenty of museums (boy likes art), and a shitload of gorgeous vegan restaurants! and the hotel is nice, and we can do our christmas shopping there (no need to worry about that before, then). oh, and i will GET AWAY FROM THIS SHITTY COUNTRY! don't get me wrong. i love copenhagen. i just need a small trip away to be able to feel that lovin' feeling again.
so i have a list of things i need to do:
1) go to restaurants
2) shop
3) relax and hang out with the boy and enjoy king-sized bed
4) walk around and feel totally in love

i hope to be able to meet a few of my friends from the ppk there, but i'm not exactly sure we'll have the time. i'll figure out later. but it would be pretty fucking awesome.

ps. i wonder if this is the reboost i need to live through christmas?

random thoughts in the night.

2007-11-20T01:18:00.000+01:00

i have become pretty fucking different in the past six months or so. everything is different than it used to be. i get anxiety from having to do things. not a lot, but still. i feel overwhelmed. i cannot stand the thought of having to do things. not even two tiny things like getting out of bed and showering, and eating lunch. sometimes i actually wake up and feel like i can be a part of the world, but most days i wake up at noon, feeling like i have to hide in bed all day. i wake up, and if i have to do something it takes twice the amount of time it usually would.
some days i never really leave my bed at all. the laptop makes it easier, but if it's not around i'll just read a book, or even drag myself to the couch with my pillow and blanket, and watch tv. or sleep.
when i hang out with friends i just feel like i am lying to them, when we make plans, cause i know as soon as they are not around i will forget or it will make me stressed out or i will call them and tell them i'm sick, and then feel bad for lying. it makes me a bad friend, and not very trustworthy.

and then there's the shopping. i am a master at spending money. i don't know, i think i spend around $800 - $1000 this month on shoes and clothes alone. and i don't have a job. i don't even leave the house most days. but those days i do, i can spend hours on putting on the perfect outfit, make my hair look good but not like i tried, and put on makeup, not enough for people to notice the time i spend doing it, but enough so i don't look like a person that is never leaving my house.
i get obsessed with shopping, with getting new clothes, new styles, things to make me prettier, cooler, thinner, above all, thinner.

and i can't sleep at normal times. right now it is in the middle of the night, and i feel like it will be impossible to sleep for the next two-three hours. my boyfriend is still awake and i feel bad for him not being able to sleep, but i can't drag myself to bed now, i know i won't be able to leave it anytime soon.

i have this mirror, that i have to look at all the time. i look at my waist, my thighs, my breasts, my belly. i try to cover up the fat, there is way too much fat, and no matter how hard i try, i cannot make it go away. i live off coffee and tea some days. eat way too much candy other days, but then i don't eat anything else. i use the laxatives to emptry myself, i love the feeling of having nothing inside of me. it makes more room for the feelings. i don't have to deal with them as much, if i am empty.
i wanna feel beautiful. but it is so hard, when it is such a long time, since i let go of the happy me, and all i see is a miserable, stupid, lazy, fat girl, with no life.

i hate this. i am gonna call a therapist tomorrow. i think. maybe. if i can get myself to do it.

Woohoo! A brand new blog!

2007-11-19T18:55:00.000+01:00

ok. so those of you who know me, know that uhm, i used to have this other blog, but uhm, i kind of forgot the password, and which email adress i used to login. so it is now officially dead. haha.

so i though this is the perfect time to start a brand new blog, with a brand-spankin'-new design and other goodies too. like, me being more grown up. and having more things to share here. and my own digitalcamera! so now the food porn and the recipes and the good stories and whatnot will be posted more regularly than ever. also, i've been a couple of months in school to learn a bit about webdesign and i hope that in some way this place will show a bit more sophistication and be better all over.

some of you might also know that i've been dealing with some crazy shit lately, and i want this place to be my safe-place. this means that i will probably not answer comments about how lame me and my (vegan) lifestyle is, or other bullshit. i have no need to argue with anyone online, i am gonna use this place to share the things that are important in my life.
but then again, maybe i will answer.

so i think you can consider this an online diary with food porn, recipes, pictures etc. included. i am not sure anyone will read this, and i have absolutely NO intentions of sharing this safe-place with anyone i know in real life. i like to share a lot more with my online communities than i would with most of the people i know.

some of the things i will be blogging about will be personal issues, that i am having a hard time with right now. but i am dealing with it, and my closest friends and family knows about it. i am not alone with this, even if i sometime expresses myself like i am all alone. i am not. i have some of the best friends and family there is out there.
at the moment i am not really doing anything, i only work thursdays, and i spend waaay too much time on the internet. but it is ok for now.

i hope you will enjoy the reading!